is my autobiography. For long
I've wonder where my ambitions and personality came from, since they're
fired up with deep values and drives I can hardly understand sometimes.
"I Create it All"
My entire personality was formed by the age of 7. This has already
complicated my life. Could this be the Myers-Briggs-Type INFJ, or another
sort of undefined personality? I can safely purport the answer to be: both.
The complicated nature of my personality having been solidified by the age
of 7 begins with my move to America in September of 1991, about four months
after I turned 6. As the general pattern persists, I faced culture shock
muted behavior since I could not speak the language of what would become, my
home country. I was forced to re-learn behaviors of life I'd already
seemingly mastered (interacting with my parents and relatives, my cousins,
speaking, writing, reading) I'd lost the only tool I had to conquer the
world: my speech. Could it be the reason I became an introvert later in my
life? FURTHER ANALYSIS
Then from Virginia, to Austin, Texas, to Cleveland, Ohio, and Youngstown,
Ohio I was carried for the next 2 years, until finally some stability was
reached for this poor child. Not until high school did I feel the full
negative effects of this mobility. At every difficult task my teacher's put
forth, like deadlines and tests, I was complain, fill the inside of my head
with frustration, and give into the fact that the task was not good enough
for my abilities. At the end of the semester I was frustrated with the agony
my assignments caused me so I'd force myself to forget about them and stand
at the helm of my own projects, without the help of anyone else. Thus, a
selfish unproductive style of life after institutions came forth and carried
No one but myself has created my successes when it comes to the projects I
personally embark upon, for the sole means of adding to my self-righous
success. For success in school and other institutions-oriented events I
cannot control as much, I relied upon God, my hard work, and the generosity
of others. Books I've written such as these, I want only my own personal
merits to produce such so that I can owe all of my own talent to it, and no
one else's. Truth is even now I'm using the blessings of God, these hands to
type my life story.
Like the ENFJ's need for control, so does the INFJ, except mine manifests
itself it different ways.
Most of my life reflects my core, inner values about my desired
accomplishments and contributions to the world. How then can I fail to see
the hand of God and all others in what I have become and will become in the
future? A desperate need for control, quite possibly instilled at the age of
7 when I'd lost all Control: in language, in speech, in learning...
when school would empower me with the tools to succeed (literacy or ideas
about how to engage in the world) I'd leave them behind and take the
knowledge on my vacations to make the most of myself. Pride keeps me
clinging closely to it, and its become such a habit that I cannot let go, if
I were to, I'd be waiting for things to happen, and I simply can't allow
that waste of time.
This need for control
was the drive to create a plan in
which one had almost all control. obtain a complete education. From
the young and idealist age of 19 to today, I've written and created a plan
which parallels American educational goals, but also includes my personal
opinions and insight on an education should entail. This plan includes
academics, character (or religious) education, vocational education, and